I needed friends who could talk about latch and thrush nipples and what to do when the baby lifts my shirt in a restaurant. Finally, I found other moms who were interested in all things nursing. Let’s call it my breastfeeding tribe.Is breastfeeding a sub-culture within our society?
By Times ColonistNovember 10, 2007
Special to the Times ColonistI was lonely after I gave birth to my first son, Alex. While my girlfriends spent their days at the office and their nights eating out and dancing at clubs, I spent day and night attached to a voracious baby, nipple to mouth.I needed friends who could talk about latch and thrush nipples and what to do when the baby lifts my shirt in a restaurant. Finally, I found other moms who were interested in all things nursing. Let’s call it my breastfeeding tribe.“I’ve been calling it a club,” says Sonya Chandler, 32. Chandler is a nurse, city councillor and mother to three-month-old Penelope-Rose. “I think that club revolves around parenting, and in that club are a lot of sub-clubs … I think breastfeeding is one of them.” Is breastfeeding a sub-culture within our society, though? Anthropologist Dr. Lisa Mitchell has some reservations about that idea. Mitchell, 48, is an associate professor of cultural anthropology at the University of Victoria and a mother of two.“To me to call it a culture is to imply that it is something different and far-out from what Canadian women are doing regularly,” Mitchell says. Most Canadian mothers try to breastfeed nowadays, she points out.“It is a very short leap then to think, ‘Well, if you belong to that culture, everybody within it shares the same ideas and that it’s a very homogenous,’” she says. “And I don’t believe that to be the case about breastfeeding.”Mitchell does say there can be a social or group aspect among breastfeeding mothers. “Women who do breastfeed often depend upon like-minded friends and family for support,” she says. “It speaks to the social aspect of breastfeeding.”Over my years in the tribe, I’ve observed a shared vocabulary, with words such as latch (the hold baby’s mouth has on the nipple, but I used to think that word only applied to the closure of a gate). It was often like learning a whole new language. “Language is not simply utilitarian and descriptive,” Mitchell says. “We use it to say things about who we are, both personally and as groups.”Kyrie Smith says she and her 10-month-old son, Abhainn Kula, spend a lot of time around other breastfeeding pairs. Smith, 21, says she didn’t think about the new language at first.“I guess everything changed,” she says. “All the language is different when you suddenly become a parent. It was so shocking.” Smith says she wants to change the culture of parenting, to make it less about buying things and more about supporting breastfeeding.“We (need to) get together in small groups and communities of mothers,” she says, “hosting mom and baby support groups, that’s how we should go about doing it.”The mom and baby group is another part of tribe behaviour, most famously represented in the breastfeeding institution La Leche League. There are also traditions such as the annual Quintessence Breastfeeding Challenge. Once a year, moms gather in a large group and breastfeed at the same time. I attended Victoria’s challenge with my 14-month-old daughter. We were surrounded by a swirl of baby slings and hipster strollers. Many babies were wearing T-shirts proclaiming, “I heart boobies!” or “Warning: Boob magnet.” This can only be described as the tribe’s home turf. Terri Foggitt, 27, was there, her seven-month-old son Carter wriggling against her shoulder. Written across the front of her tank top: “Breast Milk, Always on Tap.” The back read “Milk Maiden.”Foggitt’s best experience with the breastfeeding tribe makes her cry.“I had a breast reduction and I have a little bit of problem supplying enough breast milk for my son, because of that,” she says. “I ran into some weight problems with him. My sister-in-law is breastfeeding her one-year-old son and she breastfed my boy for me.”She wipes her eyes and adds, “That’s something that I’m really proud of, to know there are women still willing to do things like that and support breastfeeding.”Sonya Chandler says she enjoys being with other breastfeeding moms. But she says she noticed something disquieting at the breastfeeding challenge.“There were a lot of the same people, meaning lots of middle-class, educated, white people,” she says. “I didn’t see a lot of high-risk people who were under-supported, less educated and in poverty there. But they are breastfeeding as well.”Chandler says the ability to hang out with other moms and talk breastfeeding shop might be another middle-class luxury.“I’m not specializing in coping,” she says. “I’m not specializing in feeding myself and my other children.”
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